So THIS Is Age 3?

Owen has been needing a haircut, so I decided to take care of it while he was watching some tv this morning. During the trim, I was trying to even up the front. He decided to look down despite repeated statements telling him to hold his head still and even trying to keep my hand under his chin. The clippers are very good and caused me to have to take about 1/8" more off than I would have liked to even things up. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber:


One of these two is insane and the other is a lunatic.

From the moment the haircut was over on, he has been channeling Dumb and Dumber. Rather than try to recount humorous anecdotes about each little incident, I'm just going to list the ones I can remember:

1. Trip to CVS to get more cough syrup for Daddy. I promised him a treat if he stayed with me and didn't touch anything. Treat lost 3 seconds and less than 10 feet into the front door. Earned his first timeout since he turned 3 two weeks ago for not listening.

2. Despite being warned repeatedly not to touch the Christmas decorations waiting for the tree, told that Santa doesn't bring presents to bad little boys, and threats of force, he dumped a package of ornament hangars on the floor, resulting in the 2nd timeout since he turned 3.

3. It took a LOT of crying to get upstairs for quiet time. Even though he's been sick and looked exhausted.

4. During 'quiet time' in his room, there was no napping. Julie heard him crying. When she opened the door, he was climbing the bookshelf in his closet. Books? All over the floor.

5. Snack time consisted of carrots and hummus, which he normally likes but he wasn't interested today. Based on general surlyness, we decided to get out of the house. As soon as I got his shoes, coat, and hat on, he put a carrot in his mouth. After being 90% chewed, it was spit out on his train table and one of Lily's baby toys.

6. While I was cleaning carrot 1 up, another 90% chewed carrot was spit back into his Mommy's bowl of carrots. Mommy loudly questioned, "Could you get any more gross?" Challenge accepted Mommy.

7. Immediately after Mommy's statement, a giant booger was pulled and placed on the bill of his hat. The other end was still attached to the source.

8. Immediately after attaching one to the hat, he rubbed and spread everything all over his face.

9. Immediately after spreading it all over his face with Mommy recoiling in horror, he decided it was huggin' time, complete with burying of the face in Mommy's clothes.

10. After wiping everyone/thing down, we headed out the door. Where he picked up his little stack of safety cones and threw them down the stairs.

11. The first 5 minutes of our 10 minute journey were spent whining. The last 5 were spent passed out. When we got out of the car, he cried.

12. Rather than play at the little table of toys in the country store we went to, he wanted to play with all of the wares. The owner and I laughed at him carrying around a wedge of wood painted like a watermelon slice while he tried to eat it. Of course, he dropped it. Thankfully it didn't break.

13. He's been excited about Christmas trees for 2 weeks and I asked him to help me pick one out at the country store. Lily was screaming for no apparent reason and he choked. Couldn't commit, was overwhelmed, and later upset I made the call without his input.

14. Driving home, he cried because I wouldn't give him the other half of the homemade fried apple pie he ate at the store. That's Daddy's half.

15. He cried because I got him and his sister out of the car to take inside and out of the cold and cold rain. He wanted me to take the Christmas tree in the house instead of the girl baby.

16. When we got home, he decided to go potty by himself using the male standing method. He soaked the front of his pants, shirt, and jacket.

17. Dinner tonight included edamame in the pod. He got the beans out of the pod by squeezing them to fire them across the dinner table and going to retrieve them. Okay, this one was pretty fun.

18. More crying to get him upstairs for bath time. I know there was a third timeout in there, but I don't recall when or why.

19. Me: "Owen, can you please take your pants and socks off for bath time? I'll help you with your shirt in just a second." Apparently, he was a little impatient:

20. Bath time included his first cannonball. And more 'stricken u-boat commander' impressions.

21. After drying him and the floor off, he got his 18th wind. We had the Tasmanian Devil doing laps around our bedroom. There were two naked timeouts, a first for this family, because I couldn't get him out of there and into his room for pajamas.

22. After avoiding a third timeout because I picked him up and carried him into his room, there was more crying. Averted because Mommy came in for a hug.

23. He refused book reading and crawled into his book shelf. "I can't come out, I need a hug and Mommy."

24. He finally got into bed with the Target toy catalog and we spent 15 minutes flipping through. During those 15, he was the cutest little boy in the world. I think I'll let him live another 24 hours. Unless he acts like he did this afternoon.

CK