When we were going through the hospital classes preparing us to become first time parents, there were two things that stuck out during the two day parent boot camp. The first is that the average newborn goes through 240 diapers a month. The second is that if your kid is on their back too much, they will get flat head and have to wear a helmet. Both were shocking facts that drove important things out of my head, like breathing patterns and laboring positions for Mommy. Luckily, there's no breathing or labor positions during labor. Mommy will ignore everything during contractions. What you really do is get Mommy an epidural and wait for the baby to show up.
We had no problem with flat head stuff. Probably because I was always putting the kid on his face in shear terror of flat head. The second was definitely a problem. Wow, they are right. Do the math, 240 diapers equal a diaper change every 3 hours for 30 days. Sounds about right. Sure, it slows down a little bit as they get older. Maybe every 3 and a half hours once they turn 1.
So, which is cheaper, cloth or disposable? Well, the short answer is cloth and here's why by the numbers:
I assume that you will have the kid in diapers for 2 and a half years (913 days). Based on my best guess, we change an average of 7 diapers a day (6,391 diapers required). So how much does it cost to get 6,391 disposable diapers? That's a little bit difficult since you get more diapers in the newborn sizes than you get in the size 6 box for your toddler at the same price. I went with the price of Luv's Big Box of Size 3 diapers since it's a good size that both of our kids spent a lot of time in and probably represents an average. You get 108 for $17.99, which works out to 60 boxes times $18 a pop. That's $1,080 plus tax for all your disposable diaper needs.
Cloth diapers are also a little difficult to figure out since you have to figure out power usage for washer/dryer, water usage, estimate how often you wash, etc. Our cloth diapers are BumGenius brand and they require a cold wash followed by a hot wash setting, so two laundry cycles followed by a trip through the dryer. Also saving us a TON of cash is the fact we make our own laundry detergent. It works very well on everything at pennies per load over store bought detergent. Email me and I'm more than happy to provide the formula, it's easy to make and I figure we can do 2,000ish loads of laundry for $20.
Using an average washer/dryer and making our own laundry detergent, we spend about 50 cents to run our 25 diapers through the wash. I'm not factoring environmental impacts in since disposables go to a landfill and we're using about 20 gallons of potable water and about 3.75 kilowatt/hours of electricity every time we wash our cloths. I kind of think the environmental impact is a wash. Booyah!
Using the same 7 diaper changes a day, we would run 256 loads of laundry for our diapers, one every 3 and a half days at a total cost of $128. The current price for 25 of our diapers on Diapers.com is about $450. Total cost is $578 so cloth wins...right?
Well, kind of. There are definitely some pros and cons to using either. Disposables are definitely more convenient. You use it, toss it, and move on with your life. They tend to hold no. 1 better than cloth, but our experience has been that cloth holds no. 2 a little bit better. Disposables don't require a wet bag to put a dirty diaper in when you're out running around or travelling. Good luck asking your in-laws to dump a big bunch of disgusting diapers in their washing machine on Christmas morning. Disposables in the trash don't have to be handled again 3 days later when the smell is really coming out. Cons to disposables are definitely the cost and the cost of a good diaper pail with the correct bags to minimize smell. That is really important, don't skimp on the diaper pail or you will smell for it later.
Pros to cloth are mostly the cost. Cons would definitely be having to handle poop a little bit more than you would like. If you automatically cross cloth diapers off because you might get a little poop on your hands, suck it up sissy. You have (or are having) a baby and you will be covered in bodily fluids you never knew existed. Cloth isn't bad at all after you get your first projectile vomiting experience. The aforementioned difficulties with travelling are definitely a con. The last big con is adding a couple loads of laundry a week and then having to put the inserts back inside the diaper so they're ready to go again. I personally despise putting the inserts in because I have big meaty man-hands that don't fit well inside the diaper. My wife likes to do it since she gets to sit down and watch a little tv while doing something productive.
Now here's my big important recommendation. Do both disposable and cloth. Never ever make the mistake of running out of diapers, so always have disposables on hand. We use them overnight to hold that extra baby pee so we can get 8 or 9 hours out of a diaper instead of changing a wet outfit and crib sheet at 4 AM. We use cloth during the day when we're in town and it's convenient. Because of the initial cost of the diapers, we probably broke even on the money aspect for the first kid doing a mix of the two. With the second kid, we already had the cloth diapers so we are definitely saving over having to pay for disposables all day long.
If you made it this far in my blog post, congratulations, you are a complete dork about your baby. Hopefully this helps somebody since I know about 18 pregnant ladies right now.
CK
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Arts and Crafts
With some lousy weather recently and allowing membership in our local kid's museum to lapse, we've been stuck inside the house with only one way to burn off energy. And that's trashing the house. The wife decided we needed to do some more arts and crafts to focus that destructive power into constructive fridge hangings.
During the summer, we used a lot of old printouts for paper airplane construction to fly off the back porch that's 25 feet in the air. Throw a series of planes off of it, run down to the yard to retrieve them, repeat. But again, poor visibility has left our fleet grounded and passengers stranded in the terminal. We've tried throwing paper airplanes inside the house, but it's just not as cool since it can't soar through the air without hitting a baby, Mommy, doggie, or other carbon based substance and crashing in flames.
Sure, I could Google "Arts and Crafts for 3 year olds" but that would be easy. And lame, try it.
Other websites suggest things like tracing your hands or feet. Done that, not interested. And how many drawings can you color before you get bored? With my three year old, that answer is zero. We needed something with testosterone. Some science experiments, maybe a few explosions. Small explosions that result in little to no damage to the home. Why build a popsicle stick star when we can build a 3,803 piece Lego Death Star together?
Easy, right? Unfortunately, the wife raised a few annoying, yet somewhat valid points. The suggested age is 14, not 3. We have a baby and this kit has 3,803 chocking hazards. Wouldn't $400 be better spent on things like electricity, diapers, and/or the mortgage? Ugh. So we went to Michaels the craft store. We spent $22 and walked out with a wooden snake, helicopter with working rotor kit, cannon kit, 300 popsicle sticks, multi-colored cardstock, and a monster mouth candy mold with three different colored bags of melting chocolate. The wooden cannon was on clearance for 9 cents and they had about 40 of them. I'm kind of regretting only buying one. A few nights work and I could conquer Sesame Street.
When we got home, I asked him what he'd like to do first. The wooden snake, which is bare wood with four different paint colors. I suggested we paint the snake green, then add blue, red, and black effects. He actually agreed with my initial suggestion, for the first time ever. At least he let me paint it green for the first 10 seconds. Then he wanted to paint it black. So we stopped, washed off the paint brush, and switched to black. For 10 seconds. Then blue for 10 seconds. I ignored his demand for red and told him we're painting the snake blue. While I helped him paint the snake by taking the brush away and doing it for him, he helped me by rubbing his hands on the wet paint and sticking a finger in the red.
Okay, let's switch to the popsicle sticks cause those are awesome. I googled popsicle stick crafts. Wow, do you really need a website to teach you how to make a popsicle stick picture frame? We don't make picture frames, we break them. There was one suggestion for an airplane that flies with nothing but 5 sticks. Now we're talking. This is the plane and a picture of how well it flies.
I'm pretty proud of how well they turned out. Will definitely have to get some more candy molds and colors. I was eyeballing a pirate mold and the mustache mold. Another expert parenting tip, large quantities of chocolate are great for helping you get through the day with a 3 year old. Since the wife won't let me have hard liquor.
I went back to the popsicle sticks and went with one online idea. Owen didn't want to color it, but he likes to put his face behind it and yell "Ribbit!"
I also came up with my own idea, it's only 22 popsicle sticks and an onion. I have 250 more popsicle sticks and onions are cheap, should have a squadron soon. It may not be 3,803 pieces, but it's not a choking hazard so it's only dangerous to Rebel scum and Sesame Street. I'm gunning for you Muppet-wannabes.
CK
During the summer, we used a lot of old printouts for paper airplane construction to fly off the back porch that's 25 feet in the air. Throw a series of planes off of it, run down to the yard to retrieve them, repeat. But again, poor visibility has left our fleet grounded and passengers stranded in the terminal. We've tried throwing paper airplanes inside the house, but it's just not as cool since it can't soar through the air without hitting a baby, Mommy, doggie, or other carbon based substance and crashing in flames.
Sure, I could Google "Arts and Crafts for 3 year olds" but that would be easy. And lame, try it.
Other websites suggest things like tracing your hands or feet. Done that, not interested. And how many drawings can you color before you get bored? With my three year old, that answer is zero. We needed something with testosterone. Some science experiments, maybe a few explosions. Small explosions that result in little to no damage to the home. Why build a popsicle stick star when we can build a 3,803 piece Lego Death Star together?
Easy, right? Unfortunately, the wife raised a few annoying, yet somewhat valid points. The suggested age is 14, not 3. We have a baby and this kit has 3,803 chocking hazards. Wouldn't $400 be better spent on things like electricity, diapers, and/or the mortgage? Ugh. So we went to Michaels the craft store. We spent $22 and walked out with a wooden snake, helicopter with working rotor kit, cannon kit, 300 popsicle sticks, multi-colored cardstock, and a monster mouth candy mold with three different colored bags of melting chocolate. The wooden cannon was on clearance for 9 cents and they had about 40 of them. I'm kind of regretting only buying one. A few nights work and I could conquer Sesame Street.
When we got home, I asked him what he'd like to do first. The wooden snake, which is bare wood with four different paint colors. I suggested we paint the snake green, then add blue, red, and black effects. He actually agreed with my initial suggestion, for the first time ever. At least he let me paint it green for the first 10 seconds. Then he wanted to paint it black. So we stopped, washed off the paint brush, and switched to black. For 10 seconds. Then blue for 10 seconds. I ignored his demand for red and told him we're painting the snake blue. While I helped him paint the snake by taking the brush away and doing it for him, he helped me by rubbing his hands on the wet paint and sticking a finger in the red.
Okay, let's switch to the popsicle sticks cause those are awesome. I googled popsicle stick crafts. Wow, do you really need a website to teach you how to make a popsicle stick picture frame? We don't make picture frames, we break them. There was one suggestion for an airplane that flies with nothing but 5 sticks. Now we're talking. This is the plane and a picture of how well it flies.
If only the flight ended like that, it would have been worth it. Owen's review is pretty scathing, "That's not a plane."
Okay, let's try the rubber band helicopter. Owen decided he wanted to paint the helicopter body, tail, rotor, skids, stabilizer, and rubber band the color black. Great, he's already seeing black Army helicopters. I think I heard him say something about Thomas the Tank Engine and the grassy knoll. Again, I decided to make the tough parenting decisions and go with awesome color scheme of black body, red trim, yellow rotor with black tips, and blue supports for the black/red skids. In true 3 yr old patience, there were fingerprints in the paint, but we were able to assemble and glue the pieces together. It was even harder to keep him away while the glue dried. Installation of the rubber band and a quick lesson on winding the rotors and he LOVED it.
Until 2 days later when he got mad about something like getting milk instead of juice and threw it down, breaking the helicopter. I tried my hand at maintenance, but it was a total loss. I made the mistake of mentioning it was in the trash the next day and he instantly went pouty and looked into the garbage can longingly. The thing cost a buck, I'm going to have to get 10 of them.
I think the one HUGE hit was the monster mouth candy. He couldn't really help with it, other than standing on a chair and watching. It makes it easier to keep him there when you feed chocolate chips into him. Expert parenting tip: give the kid sugar right before your spouse comes home and suggest they spend time with their dear child while you get out of the house. While actually making the candy was okay, eating the monster mouth candy is really cool. Spread it over 3 or 4 days and you can use it as a disciplinary aide. "If you don't stop banging toy A into high def television B, you won't get any monster mouth candy!"
I went back to the popsicle sticks and went with one online idea. Owen didn't want to color it, but he likes to put his face behind it and yell "Ribbit!"
I also came up with my own idea, it's only 22 popsicle sticks and an onion. I have 250 more popsicle sticks and onions are cheap, should have a squadron soon. It may not be 3,803 pieces, but it's not a choking hazard so it's only dangerous to Rebel scum and Sesame Street. I'm gunning for you Muppet-wannabes.
CK
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Always Finish the Paperwork
I was just looking back at some of the posts from a period of my life that I stored in the "Let's block this out and never recall any details" part of my brain. I still can't believe I managed to teach a human to go to the bathroom in a toilet (or on a tree, bush, in the middle of the neighbor's yard in front of the neighbors, etc.) and it might be both my proudest accomplishment amidst the worst month of my life.
But there has been one last thing he needs to learn that we didn't have any luck with. Eradicating the Klingons. Sending the 1040TP Form to the IRS. Zamboni-ing the rink. I'll stop now.
I'm not sure what the exact issue was since I blocked all of that stuff out. Maybe it's lack of hand-bum coordination. Maybe we want to save toilet paper. Maybe it's the T-Rex length arms of preschoolers. Seriously, preschoolers arms are like half the length they should be compared to their torso. You will notice this every time you see kids now.
To date, it's just been let him do his own thing and wait for the emergence doing the ankle pants shuffle or with no pants at all. You help with cleanup in aisle 2, reinstall the pants, and everyone washes hands pretending it never happened. I tried a few times to explain how it works, coaching him up on crumpling up the toilet paper, selecting a dominant hand since we still don't know if he's a righty or a lefty, and front to back technique. Nothing ever sunk in. But I hoped that a day would come when he took matters into his own hand to wipe out this little problem.
Recently, he called for help, and I entered the galdiatorial arena. Gloriousness of gloriousness, I beheld all the correct paperwork, properly signed and dated with all the Is dotted and Ts crossed. I was stunned. Sure, he used the long form of the 1040TP, but all his deductions were properly accounted for. I double checked and found no errors. I happily pantsed him. Wait, maybe un-pantsed him? Is that the reverse of pantsing someone? Someone at Google needs to explain why I can't get an acceptable answer for the search term 'antonym for pantsed'.
Anywho, I put his pants back on and we celebrated like it was New Years Eve at the stroke of midnight. We kicked Mommy's office door down to proudly announce the accomplishment. There were NO thoughts of putting it in the scrapbook.
When disposing of the evidence, we ran into a small problem. Excessive paperwork often means filing errors. But being the patient, insightful, take-advantage-of-every-teaching-moment father that I am, we learned how a toilet plunger works. Sort of like a sword attacking the dragon castle, only it's really important that you keep the poisoned sword point away from you after the battle. And I can rest easier with the knowledge that my boy has learned a major life skill that he will need.
CK
But there has been one last thing he needs to learn that we didn't have any luck with. Eradicating the Klingons. Sending the 1040TP Form to the IRS. Zamboni-ing the rink. I'll stop now.
I'm not sure what the exact issue was since I blocked all of that stuff out. Maybe it's lack of hand-bum coordination. Maybe we want to save toilet paper. Maybe it's the T-Rex length arms of preschoolers. Seriously, preschoolers arms are like half the length they should be compared to their torso. You will notice this every time you see kids now.
To date, it's just been let him do his own thing and wait for the emergence doing the ankle pants shuffle or with no pants at all. You help with cleanup in aisle 2, reinstall the pants, and everyone washes hands pretending it never happened. I tried a few times to explain how it works, coaching him up on crumpling up the toilet paper, selecting a dominant hand since we still don't know if he's a righty or a lefty, and front to back technique. Nothing ever sunk in. But I hoped that a day would come when he took matters into his own hand to wipe out this little problem.
Recently, he called for help, and I entered the galdiatorial arena. Gloriousness of gloriousness, I beheld all the correct paperwork, properly signed and dated with all the Is dotted and Ts crossed. I was stunned. Sure, he used the long form of the 1040TP, but all his deductions were properly accounted for. I double checked and found no errors. I happily pantsed him. Wait, maybe un-pantsed him? Is that the reverse of pantsing someone? Someone at Google needs to explain why I can't get an acceptable answer for the search term 'antonym for pantsed'.
Anywho, I put his pants back on and we celebrated like it was New Years Eve at the stroke of midnight. We kicked Mommy's office door down to proudly announce the accomplishment. There were NO thoughts of putting it in the scrapbook.
When disposing of the evidence, we ran into a small problem. Excessive paperwork often means filing errors. But being the patient, insightful, take-advantage-of-every-teaching-moment father that I am, we learned how a toilet plunger works. Sort of like a sword attacking the dragon castle, only it's really important that you keep the poisoned sword point away from you after the battle. And I can rest easier with the knowledge that my boy has learned a major life skill that he will need.
CK
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Dance!
We've been dancing for a few weeks now, but we added some slick moves to the repertoire tonight. And his fall at 0:12 isn't a fall, it was an attempt at the worm.
I can't decide if the random kick at 0:21 or the series of pirouettes are my favorite part.
CK
I can't decide if the random kick at 0:21 or the series of pirouettes are my favorite part.
CK
Friday, January 6, 2012
Sanctuary Lost
The one place, the ONE PLACE, we've had to ourselves in this house is no more. You could spend 10 to 75 minutes in there, without interruption from the kids. Door locked, a perfectly good excuse to be in there, and just breathe the quietness in. But not too much breathing. Then Owen learned about keys.
I would blame the wife, she's the one who replaced the door knobs throughout our downstairs, but that would be unfair. We bought the house with the cheap gold builder spec knobs but she picked up a bunch of brushed nickel knobs for the downstairs so we could be high class. They look fantastic compared to the old ones, so she hit a homerun for aesthetics. She struck out with toddler security. The cheap gold ones have the hole you can insert a screwdriver or other thin piece of metal to push the interior button and turn the knob. Takes a little skill. The new fancy pants knobs have a basic slot unlocking system. All you need is any key and the basic motor skills of a 3 year old.
I know it takes the motor skills of a 3 year old because I was in the downstairs throne room with door locked when there was some knocking. Knocking is not uncommon, I can ignore knocking. Then I heard the tell tale jingle of keys. Whatever, kid, take your best shot. No way I'm teaching you how a lock and key works so it's safe in here. Imagine my horror when the lock tab went from vertical Daddy happiness to horizontal hello world. Door swung wide open and I was face to face with this:
I would blame the wife, she's the one who replaced the door knobs throughout our downstairs, but that would be unfair. We bought the house with the cheap gold builder spec knobs but she picked up a bunch of brushed nickel knobs for the downstairs so we could be high class. They look fantastic compared to the old ones, so she hit a homerun for aesthetics. She struck out with toddler security. The cheap gold ones have the hole you can insert a screwdriver or other thin piece of metal to push the interior button and turn the knob. Takes a little skill. The new fancy pants knobs have a basic slot unlocking system. All you need is any key and the basic motor skills of a 3 year old.
I know it takes the motor skills of a 3 year old because I was in the downstairs throne room with door locked when there was some knocking. Knocking is not uncommon, I can ignore knocking. Then I heard the tell tale jingle of keys. Whatever, kid, take your best shot. No way I'm teaching you how a lock and key works so it's safe in here. Imagine my horror when the lock tab went from vertical Daddy happiness to horizontal hello world. Door swung wide open and I was face to face with this:
I'm Super Proud of My Accomplishment! Do you need any help?
I would just move upstairs, but he also knows how to open the gate on the stairs. Plus our master bath also has fancy pants french doors that don't lock. So, there goes our only place to get away for a break.
Of course, I have a fancy pants drill, super-powered drywall anchors, and a plethora of lock varieties at the local hardware store. The inside of our loo might soon look like a maximum security prison, but I WILL have my sanctuary.
CK
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Running Diary 1
First off, I have created a Twitter account as @Toddler_Wars if you are on the Twitter and want to follow me. I want to post the random stuff that happens throughout the day, occasional pics, etc. as it comes up. I'll probably link it to Facebook so it posts there too. Don't accidentally follow @ToddlerWars, they are inactive. And lame. On to the running diary.
0600 First wake up, due to a crying baby in our bed.
0615 Baby still crying, still hoping she'll fall asleep.
0645 Finally give up and pick baby up to put her in the jumper while I shower. Oh, you overflowed the diaper so that's why you've been crying. Change baby and plan to wash the baby-pee soaked sheets on our bed.
0700 Shower.
0715 Get the boy up and head downstairs.
0800 Breakfast is served, eggs, bacon, sausage, cereal, banana, yogurt, juice, and coffee. I get the coffee, boy gets juice. It's his first of about 18 cups today. Feed the girl after finishing my food.
0845 Start first of 3, now 4 loads of laundry. Clean up after breakfast.
0940 Hand off the girl to the wife for feeding and nap time while Owen and I upload photos from his new kid's digital camera to see how they look on the computer. He loves the thing, especially putting the special effects on the frame for pictures. These photos are pretty typical of what he takes:
0945 We're getting bored with looking at the photos we've taken so we get some M&Ms out on the table and start counting. Basic math, you have 5 green M&Ms and you ate one, so how many do you have left? I think he learned something, and he even gave Daddy one. Sharing! From a 3 year old!
0955 Out of M&Ms and the sugar is starting to kick in, so we start yelling our name through a leftover cardboard tube.
0955 We're getting board (board/bored, get it? AHAHAHAHAHAHA) with the cardboard tube, so Daddy gets an idea.
1030 Some electrical tape, duct tape, and a lot of help from a 3 year old and he thinks we made a lower case 't':
A little coaching on medieval weaponry and some military training and we were ready to storm the dragon castle.
1050 Hot chocolate time. Owen wants hot chocolate, but he doesn't actually want to drink it because it's too hot.
1110 Lily wakes up and we storm through the house throwing on coats and mobilizing to the library for Preschool story time.
1130 Walk in and sit down right as the first book title is being read aloud.
1210 Headed home after singing some songs, doing the scarf dance (I witnessed it, and I still don't know), stories, bubbles, etc.
1245 Lunch time. Kraft mac and cheese with hot dogs. I honestly think it's the first time I've had it since college. I forgot how awesome and terrible it could be in the same bowl. First time Owen has had it too. Probably would have eaten the bowl too if I hadn't removed it.
1330 Quiet time. Owen doesn't really nap, even though he needs to. This one was more for Daddy's sanity and peace. And to get some stuff done.
1415 Quiet time over, Toy Story 3 on the tv for the kid's distraction. During the movie, more laundry and made Mexican Chicken Casserole for dinner. Guys, cook 2/3 cup rice, mix it up with chicken, peppers, onions, can of diced tomatoes, can of corn, packet of taco seasoning, 350 degrees for an hour and 15 minutes and you get credit for dinner.
1500 to 1545 Sitting on the couch trading favorite Toy Story 3 quotes with my favorite 3 year old tuberous root man.
1600 Lily wakes up as I am mobilizing the boy to go outside for some running around and get the mail. Lily stays with Mommy and the new duct tape sword comes outside. Of course we have to pee in the backyard.
1630 to 1730 Just let him play with Mommy's iPod while I do more laundry, cleaning, etc.
1730 Dinner!
1815 Put Lily to sleep.
1845 Walk out of Lily's room and do more laundry/cleaning.
2000 Sit down to write this.
2130 Pass out face down in bed (hopefully).
I'm exhausted.
CK
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