Thomas the Tank Engine...of Death

We are really into kids shows now, though we do try to limit the amount of time he watches every day to less than 6 hours. He loves Fireman Sam, the Cat in the Hat (voiced by Martin Short), and a couple of other shows. The best one, by far is Word World. He points out letters all over the place and correctly announces which ones they are because of that show, so he can pretty much qualify for the 7th grade in most school systems.

But I want to point out a menace to society, Thomas the Tank Engine. Thomas is a horrible role model. One of Owen's first phrases was "Oh no! Mess," because that's pretty much what Thomas does every episode. Going too fast, racing other engines/helicopters/buses, not looking behind him before backing, carrying loads too heavy to show off, subterfuge, bigotry against diesel engines, breaking down and failing to deliver the goods (or the people). If the Nazis had invaded the Island of Sodor, Thomas is probably collaborating to be a really useful engine. But he'd be sabotaging their plans unintentionally.

Another phrase we have started using around the house is "Then there was trouble," because it's such a common announcement in the show. Thomas smashes through someone's front door because he wanted to go out on his own without a driver, failing to realize he needs a person to put his brakes on. And why is someone's house right at the end of the rails?

He often ignores necessary common safety equipment like cow catchers and snow plows, almost always resulting in a cow derailing the train or having to be dug out of a snow bank. He's constantly causing goods to be spilled, and he almost ruined the restoration of Great Waterton when he caused another engine to crash into a water tower, collapsing it in the middle of town. Not to mention how many £s in delays and repairs his accidents have caused.

Not to mention the fact that he is cheeky, easily annoyed, and devious, which contributes to his pattern of problems.

Where is the Transportation Safety Board to investigate and enforce the regulations? Are there even any regulations to begin with? I'm calling for Thomas and the Sodor Railway to open their records and let's correct some of these safety concerns before Thomas hurtles into a bus load of Nuns.

And what about my dear, precious little boy? He should be building train tracks and railways, building Lincoln log homes, and small towers with wooden blocks. Due to Thomas the Crap Engine's example, this is what happens to the Island of Owen's railway:



The dead end track hanging over a cliff looks awfully dangerous.

CK