Today is primary day here in North Carolina. We're picking people to run in the November elections, but we're also voting on a state constitutional amendment. Basically, if you vote for it, you're saying marriage is only between a man and a woman. If you vote against it, you are saying marriage is not legally defined as a man and woman. I am a member of a public speaking club and there are three topics you are supposed to avoid: sex, religion, and politics. I generally try to avoid these three topics within my blog as I want it dedicated to the goofy things that my children do and my observations as I live life with them. I've really been debating whether I wanted to comment on Amendment One or just ignore it since it touches on all three of the subjects that you're supposed to avoid in polite conversation. If you don't care what I think, please read no further since I have no illusions that I'll be changing any minds or making a difference with the few friends and family that might read my blog.
In this country, we tell our children to be themselves and we tell them that they can be anything they want. They can be an astronaut, they can be president, they can be a baseball player, or a movie star. We also tell them that if you work hard, you can achieve the American dream which is often defined as the white picket fence with 2.5 kids, the dog, and two cars in the garage. Now that I'm older, I'm as happy as I've ever been even though we're 0.5 kids short. I think we make up for it by having 2x the number of dogs specified. If my kids learn nothing else from me, the two things that I want them to learn is that working hard and taking responsibility for yourself is going to get you a long way in this world. If you do those two things, you probably can do anything you want to do. Chances are, my kids will not grow up to be an astronaut since NASA is being cut back, there's only a few people that will get to be president in their lifetime, and they're probably going to be too busy in Mensa and getting advanced degrees on full scholarship to have time to be movie stars. So realistically, they will probably grow up, get a job or start their own small business, and have the house, the 2.5 kids, dog, and 2 cars, right? Not necessarily if Amendment One passes, which is why I've decided to vote against it.
1. Marriage that is not between a man and a woman is already illegal in NC, so we're voting on a redundancy. In this economy, why are we wasting time and resources on something that has already "addressed" by the people voting for the amendment? Further, marriage is established in the church by God, so why is the government getting involved in a religious institution at all?
2. Why would I want to take anything off the table that might make my children happy? I love being married to a wonderful wife and it's a strong commitment that I have made publicly to love her unconditionally. It's weird and strange, but our relationship got much better and stronger after marriage. I will also love my kids unconditionally and my hope is that one day, they too will find a partner that will have the same respect and love for them that my wife and I have for each other. If one or both of my kids is/are gay, that hope isn't going to change.
3. I'm definitely in favor of less government involvement in just about all facets of personal lives. Between terrorism, unemployment rates, gas prices, utility prices, corruption in government, wild stock market swings, outsourcing of jobs, and the housing market it seems like we have a heck of a lot more stuff to worry about that affects much larger portions of the population before we get to gay marriage. Plus, I can't think of a time when I have said, "Thank goodness the government stepped in, everything is perfect now!"
It basically boils down to the fact that I'm concerned about me. I want my children to be happy and have as many options as possible open to them. I want to see the look on my son's face when his bride (or groom) walks into view. I want to escort my little girl down the aisle or across the sand of a beach or see her face light up. I really don't care. I want them to have grandkids I can spoil, whether they're biological or adopted. The Muppets have it right when they sang, "Life's a happy song when there's someone by your side to sing along."
If you don't like gay marriage, don't get gay married. If it one day becomes legal, don't attend gay marriages of your friends or family. But don't you dare tell my kids that they can't do something. Because they CAN do anything they want, like becoming the first gay astronaut president.
CK
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