I had one of those moments yesterday evening that just had me shaking my head. We had pasta for dinner, so we took Owen's shirt off and put on his pasta eatin' bib. After he finished his dinner, he pulled the bib off and announced it was potty time. Off came the shorts and underpants and on to the potty. We were still eating dinner, so I told him to let me know when he was done and went back to the dinner table.
Since he's a big boy, he came wandering out of the bathroom wearing naught but a smile. It didn't take him long to decide to play froggies. You squat down, put your arms between your legs, and hop while yelling "Ribbit!" Hi-lar-ious.
He wanted us to play froggie with him, but we were eating dinner, so he started hopping away from us, me watching him, the wife with her back to him. After a hop or two, he looked back to see if we were playing. This is where it went downhill, quickly.
He didn't stand up, turn around, and query, "Mother, Father, I respectfully request you participate in a frog impression game with me, post haste." Nope, he stuck his butt in the air, legs wide open, and looked back upside down through open legs. Yes, everything God had blessed him with upon his birth was quite obvious and never meant to be viewed at this angle. I lost it, just laughing uncontrollably. It must be why the Scots lift their kilts in Braveheart, no way the English can breathe from laughing, much less fight.
Luckily (or unluckily depending on your perspective), my wife wanted to see why I was suddenly laughing like a buffoon. She got the full experience too. Immediately, the wife rolled her eyes and shook her head, deciding that his shame/embarrassment emotion has not yet developed. Thank you Queen of the Understatement. We pretty much spent the rest of dinner arguing about whose son that was. Unfortunately, I might be the loser here and the loser when it comes to the panoramic overlook.
CK
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
We've Been Robbed
We found our closet ransacked tonight. We don't think we lost any valuables, but our dirty laundry was thoroughly trashed and the Christmas wrapping paper was strewn about. He was in there for like, 14 seconds.
Bonus photo, he recently put his underwear on his head and announced, "I have a hat!"
CK
Bonus photo, he recently put his underwear on his head and announced, "I have a hat!"
CK
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Mr. Skunk and Mr. Bird
We were headed over to my parents house this morning and Owen wanted to bring a skunk and a bird from one of his toys in the car with him. On the way, he started a conversation between the two of them. It went like this:
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Are you okay?"
Mr. Bird in a higher voice: "I'm okay."
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Are you okay?"
Mr. Bird in a higher voice: "I'm okay."
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Are you okay?"
Mr. Bird in a higher voice: "I'm okay."
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Are you okay?"
Mr. Bird in a higher voice: "I'm okay."
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Are you okay?"
Mr. Bird in a higher voice: "I'm okay."
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Good, you're happy."
While very funny to listen to, it proves to the wife something I don't think she believes. You see, when Owen is going high speed down the driveway and crashes, she thinks I always tell him to be more careful and rub some dirt on it. I really do ask him if he's okay. Gotta check to make sure gravel isn't embedded in his forehead, no broken bones, etc. After he is calmed down over his brand new scraped knees that just finished healing from the last time, I try to explain center of gravity, mass vs. acceleration, and general clumsiness.
By making Mr. Skunk ask Mr. Bird if he's okay, it shows, yet again, that I am the world's greatest Dad and care about his well being first. Second, I explain the finer points of not face planting on concrete. Of course, he is a boy, so I think that he is legally required to have scraped knees and bruises at all times from ages 2 to 27.
CK
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Are you okay?"
Mr. Bird in a higher voice: "I'm okay."
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Are you okay?"
Mr. Bird in a higher voice: "I'm okay."
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Are you okay?"
Mr. Bird in a higher voice: "I'm okay."
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Are you okay?"
Mr. Bird in a higher voice: "I'm okay."
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Are you okay?"
Mr. Bird in a higher voice: "I'm okay."
Mr. Skunk in a deep voice: "Good, you're happy."
While very funny to listen to, it proves to the wife something I don't think she believes. You see, when Owen is going high speed down the driveway and crashes, she thinks I always tell him to be more careful and rub some dirt on it. I really do ask him if he's okay. Gotta check to make sure gravel isn't embedded in his forehead, no broken bones, etc. After he is calmed down over his brand new scraped knees that just finished healing from the last time, I try to explain center of gravity, mass vs. acceleration, and general clumsiness.
By making Mr. Skunk ask Mr. Bird if he's okay, it shows, yet again, that I am the world's greatest Dad and care about his well being first. Second, I explain the finer points of not face planting on concrete. Of course, he is a boy, so I think that he is legally required to have scraped knees and bruises at all times from ages 2 to 27.
CK
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Look Out Dance Floors
With his interest in music growing (and his favorite songs list expanding ever so slightly), Owen is starting to want to dance. Of course, he has been blessed with a crushing genetic curse. No dancing ability in this family. Sure we'll break it down after some wine at a wedding reception, but I'm praying there is no video footage of one of these occasions.
His moves are well on their way to stiff white boy abilities, usually a little shaking his hips and waving his harms wildly with a big grin on his face. And if you dance with him, the grin gets even bigger.
I decided that he needed to expand his repertoire a little yesterday as some rocking '80s tunes were blaring from my iTunes. So far, he's learned the bus driver, where you have both hands on the wheel and occasionally stop to open the door for the kids. The shopping cart, very similar to the bus driver, except you use the one hand on the cart and the other to pick items off the shelves. Finally, we taught him making the pizza. That seemed to be his favorite. Throw your fists over your head and pretend you're throwing the pizza up in the air. And there will be more to come.
Look out ladies at wedding receptions in 2028, someone's already practicing his lady-killin' moves.
CK
His moves are well on their way to stiff white boy abilities, usually a little shaking his hips and waving his harms wildly with a big grin on his face. And if you dance with him, the grin gets even bigger.
I decided that he needed to expand his repertoire a little yesterday as some rocking '80s tunes were blaring from my iTunes. So far, he's learned the bus driver, where you have both hands on the wheel and occasionally stop to open the door for the kids. The shopping cart, very similar to the bus driver, except you use the one hand on the cart and the other to pick items off the shelves. Finally, we taught him making the pizza. That seemed to be his favorite. Throw your fists over your head and pretend you're throwing the pizza up in the air. And there will be more to come.
Look out ladies at wedding receptions in 2028, someone's already practicing his lady-killin' moves.
CK
Monday, August 8, 2011
A New Hope
This afternoon, Owen and I watched Star Wars. The original, episode IV, A New Hope. He LOVED it. Sure, we skimmed through a few of the battle scenes and the Uncle/Aunt death scene. The best part was his little comments throughout. He was really excited about the spaceships and robots. We'll work on calling them droids later. Here were a couple that I particularly enjoyed.
At the beginning when the star destroyer is chasing Princess Leia's ship: "It's a BIIIIIG spaceship!"
----------------------------------------------------
As C3PO and R2D2 are in the dessert of Tattooine: "The robots are walking. It's hot."
----------------------------------------------------
Me: "That's C3PO."
Owen: "C3PO"
Me: "And that one is R2D2."
Owen: "R2D2"
----------------------------------------------------
When the Jawas short circuit R2 and pick him up: "They're gonna help the robot."
----------------------------------------------------
"Omi Wan Kemoni, Oki Man Pemoni, Oki Wan Wenoni"
----------------------------------------------------
Me: "Stormtroopers are baddies."
Owen: "Stormtroopers are baddies."
----------------------------------------------------
"No moon. It's space...space station."
----------------------------------------------------
"Chewmacca."
----------------------------------------------------
Anytime one is on screen: "It's a spaceship!!!!!!"
----------------------------------------------------
At the end: "I like that movie. Watch it again?"
That last one brought a little tear to Daddy's eye.
CK
At the beginning when the star destroyer is chasing Princess Leia's ship: "It's a BIIIIIG spaceship!"
----------------------------------------------------
As C3PO and R2D2 are in the dessert of Tattooine: "The robots are walking. It's hot."
----------------------------------------------------
Me: "That's C3PO."
Owen: "C3PO"
Me: "And that one is R2D2."
Owen: "R2D2"
----------------------------------------------------
When the Jawas short circuit R2 and pick him up: "They're gonna help the robot."
----------------------------------------------------
"Omi Wan Kemoni, Oki Man Pemoni, Oki Wan Wenoni"
----------------------------------------------------
Me: "Stormtroopers are baddies."
Owen: "Stormtroopers are baddies."
----------------------------------------------------
"No moon. It's space...space station."
----------------------------------------------------
"Chewmacca."
----------------------------------------------------
Anytime one is on screen: "It's a spaceship!!!!!!"
----------------------------------------------------
At the end: "I like that movie. Watch it again?"
That last one brought a little tear to Daddy's eye.
CK
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Shave and a Haircut
We like to look our best in the Kelly household. So, today was shave and a haircut day.
CK
CK
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Don't Tell Mommy
We were playing in the backyard this morning (not with the fancy swingset, with sticks and a $1 ball) when it happened. "I need to go potty Daddy." This is excellent, we haven't had any potty incidents in quite some time. The trouble with his announcement outside is that he never wants to go inside. For any reason.
Trying to get him inside often results in screaming, loss of bones, and tears. I can usually get him to come in for a potty break with the promise that we will immediately come back outside and I won't force him to do anything dastardly like wash his hands or face. Today was really difficult, after his announcement he wandered over to the bushes, chased the dog, and wanted to pick a 'pomato' in the garden. Convincing him to come inside and potty was not going to work. "Fine," I said, "let's pee in the backyard."
It was a huge hit with the participant. He couldn't stop loudly announcing to the trees and dog that he peed outside. It was so much fun, we did it again while we were outside playing in the afternoon. Same tree, just doing our part for the native vegetation during the heat wave.
The reason I've entitled this particular post 'Don't Tell Mommy' is that there are certain members of this household that don't believe in taking a leak in the comforts of nature. Especially when the indoor plumbing is a mere 3 or 4 hundred steps away. Toddlers don't take straight lines. This won't be an everyday occurrence Mommy, don't worry.
Of course, this evening, he did announce he had to go potty and started acting like he was just going to water the chair in the living room. We'll have to keep a close eye on that, else Mommy is going to be REALLY upset.
CK
Trying to get him inside often results in screaming, loss of bones, and tears. I can usually get him to come in for a potty break with the promise that we will immediately come back outside and I won't force him to do anything dastardly like wash his hands or face. Today was really difficult, after his announcement he wandered over to the bushes, chased the dog, and wanted to pick a 'pomato' in the garden. Convincing him to come inside and potty was not going to work. "Fine," I said, "let's pee in the backyard."
It was a huge hit with the participant. He couldn't stop loudly announcing to the trees and dog that he peed outside. It was so much fun, we did it again while we were outside playing in the afternoon. Same tree, just doing our part for the native vegetation during the heat wave.
The reason I've entitled this particular post 'Don't Tell Mommy' is that there are certain members of this household that don't believe in taking a leak in the comforts of nature. Especially when the indoor plumbing is a mere 3 or 4 hundred steps away. Toddlers don't take straight lines. This won't be an everyday occurrence Mommy, don't worry.
Of course, this evening, he did announce he had to go potty and started acting like he was just going to water the chair in the living room. We'll have to keep a close eye on that, else Mommy is going to be REALLY upset.
CK
Monday, August 1, 2011
Running List of Toddlerisms
The wife and I were chuckling about the latest crazy statements and we needed to start a list. This is that list. Likely to be expanded often, new items are in italics at the top.
Playing with the new bath letters that stick to the wall:
Owen: "These are Os."
Me: "Well, one is an O and the other is a zero."
Owen: "No, they're Os. And they're green."
Me: "Yes, they are green, but one is a zero."
Owen: "No Daddy, that's silly."
-------------------------------------------------
Looking at his Mommy's belly button during bedtime: "Your penis is inside-out!"
-------------------------------------------------
Owen knows we're going to get pizza and looks at the sign next to the pizza place: "K - U - M - O - N...PIZZA!
-------------------------------------------------
At the store in Georgia on a Sunday, where beer and wine sales are not allowed
Me: "Oops, I forgot you can't buy wine on Sunday. *fake panic voice* OH NO!"
Owen: "Don't be sad."
-------------------------------------------------
Owen, randomly at breakfast: "My birthday is coming over!"
Mommy: "Your birthday is coming over?"
Me: *laughing*
Owen: "It's bringing presents!"
-------------------------------------------------
During quiet time, Owen decides to play with his snap together Thomas take and go track:
Owen: "It's broken, I need to fix it."
Me: "Okay, you go fix it."
Owen walks away and comes back 15 seconds later: "I need a screwdriver to fix it."
-------------------------------------------------
Looking at his Halloween Candy Haul, Owen: "Can I have this one?"
Me: "No, we already had some candy."
Owen holding up a different piece: "How about this one?"
Me: "No, you've had enough candy."
Owen holding up yet another piece: "How about this one?"
Me: No, no more candy tonight."
Owen proceeded to hold up every single piece of candy and ask "How about this one?"
-------------------------------------------------
Owen, looking at the garden: "What's this?"
Me: "That's called bok choy. It's for stir fry."
Owen: "No, it's salad. What's this?"
Me: "Raddichio, it's lettuce."
Owen: "No, it's salad. What's this?"
Me: "Mesculin. I mean it's salad like the rest."
Owen: "I don't like salad."
-------------------------------------------------
Owen: "I have an idea guys!"
Mommy: "You have an idea? What's your idea?"
Owen: "I'm going to make you guys happy!"
-------------------------------------------------
Me: "Do you want to read 'Sneetches' tonight?"
Owen: "No! That's too dangerous!"
Me: "What makes it dangerous?"
Owen: "I don't like that one."
Me: "That makes no sense, liking something doesn't make it dangerous."
Owen: "Motorcycles are dangerous."
-------------------------------------------------
Owen had a cold and felt a little warm to his Mommy. Owen, after Mommy checked him with the rectal thermometer: "I'm feeling better!"
-------------------------------------------------
Me jokingly to the wife: "Look here missy!"
Owen to his mommy: "Look here missy!"
-------------------------------------------------
The wife sarcastically: "I feel sexy."
Owen enthusiastically: "I feel sexy TOO!"
-------------------------------------------------
Me: "Dinner is imminent."
Owen: "Dinner is immi..imm...imma...immimmiimiiimmi....ALL DONE!"
-------------------------------------------------
*Me with car keys between my teeth so I can buckle him into his car seat with 2 hands*
Owen: "Don't eat the keys Daddy! That's DANGEROUS!"
-------------------------------------------------
Owen in a parking lot: "Mommy, no penis. Daddy, penis."
-------------------------------------------------
Over Play-Doh:
Me: Now what animal should I make? A snake?
Owen: A snake! Yes!
Me: Okay, here you go.
Owen: It's happy.
Me: It's a happy snake? That's good.
Owen: It's happy snake. And happy monster.
Me: Okay, now what animal should I make?
Owen: Walrus.
Me: Let me guess, a happy walrus?
Owen: Nooooooo, a silly walrus.
--------------------------------------------------
Owen at dinner: "Daddy's in the car."
Me: "I'm in the car? Where am I going?"
Owen: "Yes."
Me: "Okay. So I'm in the car going to yes. Is there anyone else in the car?"
Owen (excited): "A octumpus!"
--------------------------------------------------
Me to Owen at the front door in my dress shoes: "Where are you going buddy?"
Owen: "Work!"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen, randomly out loud referring to Thomas the Tank Engine: "Thomas has penis."
--------------------------------------------------
Owen: "I pooped in my pants! Yay Owen!"
Me: "No, not 'Yay Owen.'"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen to Mommy as she was trying to decide what to wear: "Mama needs pants!"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen, hiding when you see him and he's not ready to be found: "NO! I'm HIIIIIIDING!"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen, during lunch: "NO! Eat your soup with spoons you guys!"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen: "I see a spider!"
Me: "Oh yeah, I see it too. It's called a wolf spider and it eats bugs."
Owen: "I LOVE it! I squash it!"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen, guess where: "I make lots of stinkies. It splashed."
--------------------------------------------------
Owen on the swingset at the park, with some construction equipment nearby: "Yay Owen and Daddy we swinging together looking at backhoe and going fast."
--------------------------------------------------
After answering some questions honestly:
Owen: "Owen has a penis. Daddy has a penis. Mommy has a *garbled word that roughly rhymes with vagina*. Poor Mommy."
Mommy: "No, Mommy wants no part of having a penis."
Mommy to Daddy: "I didn't know 2 year olds were aware of penis envy."
---------------------------------------------------
About to vacuum the house:
Owen: "We're going into the vacuum."
Me: "That's not safe, there's no air in a vacuum."
Owen: "There's no air in a vacuum."
Me: "Good, where's your Nobel for Science?"
---------------------------------------------------
Me: "What do you have in your mouth?"
Owen, pulling something out of his mouth: "A rock."
Me: "Why are you eating a rock?"
Owen: "You want one for your mouth?"
---------------------------------------------------
After falling halfway down the stairs because he was goofing off, right after the crying has stopped and my wife's heart started beating again:
Owen: "I fell down."
Mommy: "Yes, it was terrible."
Owen (starting to smile): "I rolled down backwards."
Mommy: "I know."
Owen: "It was fun. I do it again?"
Mommy: "No, never again."
---------------------------------------------------
Right after picking weeds in the yard on the way to the car:
Owen: "Owen and Daddy like weed."
Me: "No, that would be illegal and Mommy would be mad."
Owen: "Mommy doesn't like weed."
Me: "Right, now climb in the car and let's go."
Owen: "Owen and Daddy GOOOO! With weed."
---------------------------------------------------
Me: "Owen, show your Mommy the tomatoes you just picked."
Owen: "Mmph, mmmm, phmph." *mouth full of the cherry tomatoes he just picked*
---------------------------------------------------
We were outside and away from home on a cold day and he needed help going potty:
Me: "Sorry my hands are so cold buddy."
Owen: "ME TOO!"
---------------------------------------------------
Owen: "I want coffee."
Me: "No, coffee is for Daddy to drink."
Owen: "Beer is for Daddy TOO!"
---------------------------------------------------
Me: "Owen, are you licking that tree?"
Me: "Owen, stop licking that tree."
Me: "Owen, would you please stop licking the tree?"
Me: "Owen! Stop. Licking. The. Tree."
---------------------------------------------------
Playing with the new bath letters that stick to the wall:
Owen: "These are Os."
Me: "Well, one is an O and the other is a zero."
Owen: "No, they're Os. And they're green."
Me: "Yes, they are green, but one is a zero."
Owen: "No Daddy, that's silly."
-------------------------------------------------
Looking at his Mommy's belly button during bedtime: "Your penis is inside-out!"
-------------------------------------------------
Owen knows we're going to get pizza and looks at the sign next to the pizza place: "K - U - M - O - N...PIZZA!
-------------------------------------------------
At the store in Georgia on a Sunday, where beer and wine sales are not allowed
Me: "Oops, I forgot you can't buy wine on Sunday. *fake panic voice* OH NO!"
Owen: "Don't be sad."
-------------------------------------------------
Owen, randomly at breakfast: "My birthday is coming over!"
Mommy: "Your birthday is coming over?"
Me: *laughing*
Owen: "It's bringing presents!"
-------------------------------------------------
During quiet time, Owen decides to play with his snap together Thomas take and go track:
Owen: "It's broken, I need to fix it."
Me: "Okay, you go fix it."
Owen walks away and comes back 15 seconds later: "I need a screwdriver to fix it."
-------------------------------------------------
Looking at his Halloween Candy Haul, Owen: "Can I have this one?"
Me: "No, we already had some candy."
Owen holding up a different piece: "How about this one?"
Me: "No, you've had enough candy."
Owen holding up yet another piece: "How about this one?"
Me: No, no more candy tonight."
Owen proceeded to hold up every single piece of candy and ask "How about this one?"
-------------------------------------------------
Owen, looking at the garden: "What's this?"
Me: "That's called bok choy. It's for stir fry."
Owen: "No, it's salad. What's this?"
Me: "Raddichio, it's lettuce."
Owen: "No, it's salad. What's this?"
Me: "Mesculin. I mean it's salad like the rest."
Owen: "I don't like salad."
-------------------------------------------------
Owen: "I have an idea guys!"
Mommy: "You have an idea? What's your idea?"
Owen: "I'm going to make you guys happy!"
-------------------------------------------------
Me: "Do you want to read 'Sneetches' tonight?"
Owen: "No! That's too dangerous!"
Me: "What makes it dangerous?"
Owen: "I don't like that one."
Me: "That makes no sense, liking something doesn't make it dangerous."
Owen: "Motorcycles are dangerous."
-------------------------------------------------
Owen had a cold and felt a little warm to his Mommy. Owen, after Mommy checked him with the rectal thermometer: "I'm feeling better!"
-------------------------------------------------
Me jokingly to the wife: "Look here missy!"
Owen to his mommy: "Look here missy!"
-------------------------------------------------
The wife sarcastically: "I feel sexy."
Owen enthusiastically: "I feel sexy TOO!"
-------------------------------------------------
Me: "Dinner is imminent."
Owen: "Dinner is immi..imm...imma...immimmiimiiimmi....ALL DONE!"
-------------------------------------------------
*Me with car keys between my teeth so I can buckle him into his car seat with 2 hands*
Owen: "Don't eat the keys Daddy! That's DANGEROUS!"
-------------------------------------------------
Owen in a parking lot: "Mommy, no penis. Daddy, penis."
-------------------------------------------------
Over Play-Doh:
Me: Now what animal should I make? A snake?
Owen: A snake! Yes!
Me: Okay, here you go.
Owen: It's happy.
Me: It's a happy snake? That's good.
Owen: It's happy snake. And happy monster.
Me: Okay, now what animal should I make?
Owen: Walrus.
Me: Let me guess, a happy walrus?
Owen: Nooooooo, a silly walrus.
--------------------------------------------------
Owen at dinner: "Daddy's in the car."
Me: "I'm in the car? Where am I going?"
Owen: "Yes."
Me: "Okay. So I'm in the car going to yes. Is there anyone else in the car?"
Owen (excited): "A octumpus!"
--------------------------------------------------
Me to Owen at the front door in my dress shoes: "Where are you going buddy?"
Owen: "Work!"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen, randomly out loud referring to Thomas the Tank Engine: "Thomas has penis."
--------------------------------------------------
Owen: "I pooped in my pants! Yay Owen!"
Me: "No, not 'Yay Owen.'"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen to Mommy as she was trying to decide what to wear: "Mama needs pants!"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen, hiding when you see him and he's not ready to be found: "NO! I'm HIIIIIIDING!"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen, during lunch: "NO! Eat your soup with spoons you guys!"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen: "I see a spider!"
Me: "Oh yeah, I see it too. It's called a wolf spider and it eats bugs."
Owen: "I LOVE it! I squash it!"
--------------------------------------------------
Owen, guess where: "I make lots of stinkies. It splashed."
--------------------------------------------------
Owen on the swingset at the park, with some construction equipment nearby: "Yay Owen and Daddy we swinging together looking at backhoe and going fast."
--------------------------------------------------
After answering some questions honestly:
Owen: "Owen has a penis. Daddy has a penis. Mommy has a *garbled word that roughly rhymes with vagina*. Poor Mommy."
Mommy: "No, Mommy wants no part of having a penis."
Mommy to Daddy: "I didn't know 2 year olds were aware of penis envy."
---------------------------------------------------
About to vacuum the house:
Owen: "We're going into the vacuum."
Me: "That's not safe, there's no air in a vacuum."
Owen: "There's no air in a vacuum."
Me: "Good, where's your Nobel for Science?"
---------------------------------------------------
Me: "What do you have in your mouth?"
Owen, pulling something out of his mouth: "A rock."
Me: "Why are you eating a rock?"
Owen: "You want one for your mouth?"
---------------------------------------------------
After falling halfway down the stairs because he was goofing off, right after the crying has stopped and my wife's heart started beating again:
Owen: "I fell down."
Mommy: "Yes, it was terrible."
Owen (starting to smile): "I rolled down backwards."
Mommy: "I know."
Owen: "It was fun. I do it again?"
Mommy: "No, never again."
---------------------------------------------------
Right after picking weeds in the yard on the way to the car:
Owen: "Owen and Daddy like weed."
Me: "No, that would be illegal and Mommy would be mad."
Owen: "Mommy doesn't like weed."
Me: "Right, now climb in the car and let's go."
Owen: "Owen and Daddy GOOOO! With weed."
---------------------------------------------------
Me: "Owen, show your Mommy the tomatoes you just picked."
Owen: "Mmph, mmmm, phmph." *mouth full of the cherry tomatoes he just picked*
---------------------------------------------------
We were outside and away from home on a cold day and he needed help going potty:
Me: "Sorry my hands are so cold buddy."
Owen: "ME TOO!"
---------------------------------------------------
Owen: "I want coffee."
Me: "No, coffee is for Daddy to drink."
Owen: "Beer is for Daddy TOO!"
---------------------------------------------------
Me: "Owen, are you licking that tree?"
Me: "Owen, stop licking that tree."
Me: "Owen, would you please stop licking the tree?"
Me: "Owen! Stop. Licking. The. Tree."
---------------------------------------------------
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