After being approached by a friend to document the last few months of being a working parent that transitioned to being a SAHM and then back to the work place, I am finding that as I look back I think I was more overwhelmed as a SAHM than working. First let me explain how I got here…
Before
My husband and I were both working full time at the same bank in Charlotte, NC and we had a pretty good routine worked out. I picked up and dropped off our little jelly bean on my way to work, and usually my husband got home before me which means he got dinner started. We had fantastic neighbors that we worked into great friendships, and their kids got along with ours. We had fun play dates set up with all of the friends I had made in the last 15 years of living in one area that had also started families. Our daughter was thriving – learning a ton at daycare, have loving, doting parents, an awesome house, and lots of friends. Basically, it was all we could ask for…probably more.
Then life changed drastically. It all changed because we went to Charleston on our family vacation and fell in love. We thought, “Hey! Let’s move here! We can easily make a life here if we find jobs.” Once back home, my husband jumped online and started looking for a job. He found one at the first place he looked and applied. Amazingly the recruiter called that afternoon and said, “Are ya married to Charleston? If not, I think you would be an even better fit in Greenville, SC.” After a round of interviews and three weeks later, he had a new job. In Greenville. That isn’t in Charleston, or anywhere close for that matter; just in case you aren’t from around these parts.
My job wouldn’t work with me so I had to say goodbye to that, but before I left I was in charge of being a full time single working mommy during the week while my husband lived in Greenville. I was also in charge of taking care of the house (which rented quickly!), moving in with family until the official move, and smiling while doing it pregnant. Oh yeah, did I mention I got pregnant during all of this?? If you know of anyone that has ever been pregnant, or been pregnant yourself, just think of that first trimester of madness. Morning sickness that doesn’t just happen in the morning, exhaustion, bloating, and food aversions are only some of what I went through. I couldn’t wait to just get to Greenville so I could have some help from the hubs and we could have one leg of our journey behind us.
My husband and I were both working full time at the same bank in Charlotte, NC and we had a pretty good routine worked out. I picked up and dropped off our little jelly bean on my way to work, and usually my husband got home before me which means he got dinner started. We had fantastic neighbors that we worked into great friendships, and their kids got along with ours. We had fun play dates set up with all of the friends I had made in the last 15 years of living in one area that had also started families. Our daughter was thriving – learning a ton at daycare, have loving, doting parents, an awesome house, and lots of friends. Basically, it was all we could ask for…probably more.
Then life changed drastically. It all changed because we went to Charleston on our family vacation and fell in love. We thought, “Hey! Let’s move here! We can easily make a life here if we find jobs.” Once back home, my husband jumped online and started looking for a job. He found one at the first place he looked and applied. Amazingly the recruiter called that afternoon and said, “Are ya married to Charleston? If not, I think you would be an even better fit in Greenville, SC.” After a round of interviews and three weeks later, he had a new job. In Greenville. That isn’t in Charleston, or anywhere close for that matter; just in case you aren’t from around these parts.
My job wouldn’t work with me so I had to say goodbye to that, but before I left I was in charge of being a full time single working mommy during the week while my husband lived in Greenville. I was also in charge of taking care of the house (which rented quickly!), moving in with family until the official move, and smiling while doing it pregnant. Oh yeah, did I mention I got pregnant during all of this?? If you know of anyone that has ever been pregnant, or been pregnant yourself, just think of that first trimester of madness. Morning sickness that doesn’t just happen in the morning, exhaustion, bloating, and food aversions are only some of what I went through. I couldn’t wait to just get to Greenville so I could have some help from the hubs and we could have one leg of our journey behind us.
SAHM Era
So here we are...in Greenville. Not Charleston. I was officially in my very own restaurant in my head waiting for a table. “Bitter, party of one, your table is now ready…”
So began my journey from a well organized, working mom that had a million balls in the air to…nothing. No umpteen places to run errands to, no daycares to drop kids off, no friends to hang out with, no kids….OMG no kids to entertain MY KID! Here I was in our temporary apartment until we found a house and there are no kids. No families to play in the cul de sac with. I was officially in panic mode.
I immediately reassessed and thought, “Ok, no biggie. Let’s go to where kids congregate!” We went to parks, the zoo, the playground at the apartment complex, to different stores…and nada. I couldn’t find ANY kids. Of course it was February, but it was mild. It was in the 60’s. WHERE are the kids!?! This mommy was going to go a little nutty if she had to listen to any more Dora, My Little Pony, or Princesses singing. Not to mention if I had to play any more of these games that went no where….She would say, “Mommy, play with your pony!” I would excitedly pick one up thinking, “Where are we going today? Shall we save a pony from the evil queen? Shall we have pony races? How about sending them on a scavenger hunt for a treasure like on Dora?” Instead I would get, “Hi. What’s your name? Shutterfly? That’s pretty……Hi, What’s your name?” There was no getting her off of this. Round and round we would go. I NEEDED KIDS. And another mommy would have been awesome too. Only talking to a preschooler and a husband that didn’t understand that I only had him for adult time was just plain getting hard.
And then it happened. I took her to the Children’s Museum. Guaranteed kids. Unless it’s field trip day for all the older kids and they run amok and scare away all the kids under 5. Only I have this kind of timing. Well, I was not going down without a fight. I took her to the under 5 area. It’s really cute. It’s set up like a farm with a child size farmhouse to play in and even a fake cow you can milk. Perfect! I locked us in (it came complete with a picket fence and a gate), kicked out anyone over the age of 5, sat down in a rocking chair and waited. They were going to come to ME, darn it.
I feel sorry for the first mom I ran into. I don’t even remember her name, but her number is somewhere in my phone. I nearly tackled her I was so excited to see her and her two kids. Not quite Natalie’s age, but that was OK by me! She was very kind. I know I would have been a bit overwhelmed by me if I was on the receiving end, but she took me and all my excitement well. I got a full hour with her. Our kids didn’t really take to one another, but we all got an outlet.
After that we slowly started figuring out where to go, which mom’s I wouldn’t scare away, and built a routine/life. I was suddenly a prepared mom again. I had snacks on demand, planned dinners that I actually cooked (turns out I’m a pretty good chef! Who knew??) and a kid that I was able to entertain in most instances. We even spent a total of four hours at the DMV and it was a pleasant experience if you can imagine that! I was still looking for jobs, and I had even found a recruiter! He was searching for positions for me and I am certain I drove him crazy. It could be why he stopped returning my calls. It’s ok. If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have found the job I have now.
Two months into being a SAHM mom I finally got the interview for my current position. Mind you I was about 4 months pregnant. Not quite showing, but suspiciously big in the belly. I did my darndest to not look down, and worked to impress the pants off the hiring manager. It worked. I got the offer. OH CRAP. I GOT THE OFFER. I had JUST settled into the life of making sure my darling daughter was stimulated but not too stimulated, had one or two friends with other SAHM’s, and I had gotten past the dreaded first trimester and was on the very comfortable road of my second. Now what do I do??
Back to Work
Getting organized and finding clothes that fit was priority numero uno. So I went shopping, got my hair done (who needs that when you aren’t working??), and started prepping the wee one about going back to preschool (it’s called preschool here…well the good ones are). By the way, there is no prepping a 3 year old about preschool. Or another baby for that matter.
Case in point included one morning where my husband was dropping her off and they had this little chat:
Child: **Yawn** Where do these yawns come from, Daddy?”
Dad: They come from Mommy, you’re just as good at mornings as she is.”
Child: Oh good, I’ll say ‘thank you’ to her. “
Daddy: “Don’t worry, I already did.”
Once a good preschool was selected (the hubs still asserts that I just Google searched 'most expensive daycare in Greenville County'), I comfortably went back to the world of work. I had adult time…lots of it. About 8 (or more!) hours a day of it. Down time in the car between drop off and going in to the office, and oh yeah. Work. I tested systems and applications to make sure I had access, got a badge to get in the building, and even got the opportunity peruse what needed to be done (aka…look at the work I got hired to do). So far it’s been a pretty pleasant experience. I feel back in my element. I like being challenged, organized (here and at home), places to run to, the steady stream of birthday party invites that come with a group of kids that are my kids age at these marvelous places called preschools, and of course having that sense of normalcy I had before we left Charlotte. We are almost there. We are building an even nicer home, in a great neighborhood with super nice neighbors and TONS of kids. The new kid should be here just about the time the house is ready. Fingers crossed that doesn’t start a whole new year of craziness…eh. Who am I kidding? A newborn and a three year old? Expect another blog entry in t-minus 12 months. Provided I can find the laptop under all the baby stuff.
Andrea
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