Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Brilliant Idea

As I drove to Chick-fil-A this afternoon for a milkshake and playground time out of the heat and humidity, I realized there is a great business market for me. Both kids struggled with nap time. There were no afternoon naps, so both passed out once strapped into their seats and subjected to the gentle vibrations of the car, A/C, and the soothing sounds of Veggie Tales.

This is typically the case. Anytime we drive anywhere, Lily sleeps the whole time and Owen will pass out if he's tired. I'm introducing my new Snooze Mobile. We get a 15 passenger van, trick it out with a bunch of seats with the LATCH system, top of the line car seats and bases. Paint the inside in soothing, sleepy-time colors. Black out the windows so minimal sunlight gets in. State of the art sound system to crank the lullabies at the perfect volume.

Your kid screaming at the top of his lungs because he didn't get a nap? Got chores you can't get finished because the sparkle in your eye is obnoxious? Just want to pass out face down on your own couch with a glass of red wine spilled on the rug? Call us, we'll come get the little stinke...blessing and drive them around for as long as you like. It's like drop in day care places, except they snore the whole time.

When they wake up, we bring them back to your house and dump them in the yard for some cash money. I can't think of any downsides. Except traffic, red lights, bumps, need of a snack, thirst, or my penchant for screaming obscenities at driver's of lesser quality than myself. Tough to get repeat business the first time a little one yells, "Move your #&%!" I may have to tweak it a little to perfect it, but I'm on to a winner!

CK

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